Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Never take small children to a craft store

Must be true...what my parents always said...I am hard headed & insist on learning things the hard way.

 It must be true because after almost 6 yrs & 2 kids I still had the insane intention of a "quick stop" to my local craft store.  Some pop-dots & adhesive was all I needed so it should've been a simple in & out stop.  But no 2 minutes in and Dillon is insisting on the bathroom - never-mind that we just left Target & he was questioned about this very matter - but we go which afterwards triggers a (loud) lecture from Erin on what the difference between boys & girls is & how Dillon isn't a "real" boy yet because he doesn't look like daddy (is science sure you can't die from embarrassment?!).  After much shushing & frenzied whispered reminders about 'time & place appropriateness' we finally make it to the adhesive section.  But unfortunately I can't find what I need immediately which gave Erin time to find the stamps judging them all an "ugly mud color" & who did this store think they were selling crap like this - cue employee walking by giving derisive looks.   Then Dillon decides he needs to show off how well he knows his colors by collecting every single ink pad he can find & once named he hands them off to Erin who of course must read the label & correct him "No Dillon that's not 'red' it's 'Sierra Mud' and that's not 'blue' it's 'oceanic'" so of course he melts down & cries.  Calm him down, reassure that yes he identifies colors very well, find the cursed pop-dots & turn to leave only to find that Erin has disappeared.

Find the girl in the paper section picking out all the 'pretty' & 'cute' papers "Mom you need this one!" "Mom why don't you make me something with this one!" "Mom this matches my ballet costume!" & of course the baited "Dillon do you see Cars, you see that McQueen right there!, oh and look Mickey Mouse you love him don't you!".  As I'm making sure she puts the papers carefully back where they go, Dillon is having his usual love fest with McQueen & Mickey and when I say "no put them back" he breaks out with wails so heart wrenching that Feed the Children should utilize it to raise funds.  Just to make him stop (& ensure CPS isn't called) I decide that a $0.60 piece of paper is not going to break me but of course then Erin chimes in with "That's not fair, I want..." - again should've known better but oh well just means neither gets anything!  Finally get up to the front & of course there is only one register open with at least 5-6 people standing in line which gives Erin the opportunity to look at & move all the magazines because naturally she can't pick one, read it & put it back. 5 minutes later the call goes out for a Customer Service Manager to come settle a price dispute & realize that the force just isn't with me today. :-/

Now what's really odd about this whole exchange is that it only happens in craft stores, I can take these two into any grocery or mega-mart & they will be good as gold.  I have been stopped on numerous occasions by other parents, store workers, random strangers complimenting my well-behaved children & asking for the secret formula.  I don't get it, I really don't - but I guarantee next time I go alone!

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